We are heal-able. Able to heal from stress, disappointments, and trauma.
But healing from emotional trauma doesn’t just happen once for all time — it happens on a continuum over time.
We have to keep at it. Consciously noticing letdowns and offenses as they arise, we become aware of our feelings and triggers and can acknowledge them inside of ourselves with self-kindness. We choose not to react or become defensive for our own sakes—we don’t like the feeling of having claws that instinctively swing at someone! To achieve greater contentment, we pause and breathe through things. We may choose to speak up, but we take a moment beforehand to decide if we will respond.
Many of us are sensitive and empathic, picking up on the energy of another person easily. But sometimes we’re wrong, and nothing was intended by the other – they are dealing with their own stressors, nervousness, inner workings, or even trauma. It may have nothing to do with us.
At any rate, unhealed pain can rear its head in anger and make us hiss at others. Consciously noticing it is bravely facing our hurt, our “shadow” side, giving ourselves the opportunity to solidify long-term healing and live, instead, as who we want to be.
For many of us, getting mad feels powerful or active. Sarcasm and meanness are examples. Lashing out gives us a “sense” of control. Yet, there are other alternatives that lead to truly feeling better.
Do we want to feel better or do we want to be angry or hurt?
Stress and pain don’t have to build up!
We disappoint ourselves, and we disappoint others. We all do things we regret to our loved ones; sometimes it’s the things we don’t do that we regret. They hurt our feelings and make mistakes. If someone hurts our feelings it doesn’t always mean the relationship is bad, that we should get out of the relationship, or attack back. We’re all just humans.
Disappointments, betrayals, and all sizes of trauma are part of our human experience and avoiding people or things only stuffs our pain down for a while. It will emerge later, usually without our control. Panic attacks, depression, and fears are all forms of emotions we have buried or disregarded.
We’ve said things to ourselves like:
“I’ll suck it up!”
“I won’t let this bother me!”
“I’m over this.”
“This person/thing ‘shouldn’t’ hurt me.”
And down under it all goes, until another event reminds our subconscious of it and we suddenly feel agitated, blue, or even gripped by panic, resentment, or overwhelm.
Instead, here’s a bravery bite: take on your healing. You are able to heal…in small steps.
Try this: release it. You don’t have to fully “forgive.” Try deliberately setting the hurt aside for a while with conscious compassion for yourself, then let it go. It’s like putting clothes you don’t wear anymore in another closet for a month;if you still haven’t worn it, you give it away.
Try healing from little hurts every day. You are able. Face them, consciously acknowledge them, and decide — either address them or let them go. You get to choose!
It’s brave to face unhealed anger and change. You’ll feel lighter when you’re consciously brave, aware, and responsive. You are heal-able. You’ve got this.
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Love from Your Braveologist,
Pamela
BIG P.S.–I have a TikTok now! I’m posting short 15- 30 second videos. See my first 2 posts & follow me if you like them please! @Braveologist
Thank you!