Trust the Process



“Trust the process.” It’s one of the few things we can do, amidst so much where we are powerless. It is a critical concept for the conscious bravery we need, especially when loving someone with addiction and/or mental health challenges. There are times when we feel excruciating pain in having no control to help them. 

I never know if my sons will stay strong or waver, remain clean or begin using illicit drugs or alcohol to self-medicate again, or if they’ll fall into a debilitating mental or emotional state. I assertively surrender assertively to what Is with radical acceptance, over and over again.

The capacity to do anything comes from how work on ourselves, take time for self-care, and rely upon manifesting our own personal meaning. 

On any new day, in any new Now, we trust.

Trust what? What’s “the process” we’re supposed to place all of our trust in? What in the world can we trust? It may be that much of what we’ve been experiencing lately has put us on alert, and we’ve lost confidence in ourselves and others.

I trust the flow. It’s a morsel of the instinctual courage I need. Releasing my grip on the reins, I don’t hitch my optimism to specific outcomes or people. Outcomes can’t be secured, and people are sometimes unavailable or disappoint. Yet I still trust love, and trust humans. We’re all imperfect beings. 

With gratitude for life itself, without attaching to any expectations (which can also feel like pressure to them), I believe that my best choices and bravest self will shine some light and make an impact somehow. 

Walking on my own authentic path doing what I can, I try to let go of the rest. In deep love and respect for my beloveds, linking arms with confidence in them, I trust them as they carve their lives into the unique creative sculptures that unfold. It’s not for me to judge how beautiful or functional their art is. It’s their own. 

I make my own art, working on me. 

I have to mother them differently now, because the beast of addiction has confused and altered my natural, preferred style. I try not to get in my sons’ way while simultaneously being on their team as they are navigating this wilderness. We’re a family in it together. My strength, bravery and boundaries are crucial for my own self-care and in showing them they have those things in themselves too. They need more support and unwavering love than I ever realized I had within me. I have that too, as painful as it is to vulnerably call it forth. Part of how I anchor in love is by connecting with the power of the universe, to the Divine. 

Our universe is infinite and mysterious. Why not trust it, in its wisdom & mystery, its give and take? All of us are intermingled in supportive presence here together: the universe, our beloveds, us, and our resurging healing.