The most universally effective tool I teach to reset and rebalance during times of upset, overwhelm or devastation
I learned components of this practice from different places and people, changing it over the years. I used it most often myself when my husband was dying from brain cancer and in the subsequent year after that, managing my own grief and my sons’ ensuing substance abuse. As if flailing in deep waters, my adrenals firing, I was reacting instead of responding well to tough situations. But I told myself I didn’t have the luxury of despair, that my sons needed a kindhearted, more balanced, brave mom who walked alongside them in their own grief and turmoil. So, I’d B.O.A.R 5 or 6 times a day! It led me into a place of greater calm and broader perspective, every time.
I still practice B.O.A.R. almost daily. It takes only 2-3 minutes once you’ve got it down. It’s helpful during a crisis, and it brings comfort and clarity in those less disruptive moments of agitation or low-level frustration. With B.O.A.R. we become mindful, more present in our hearts and bodies, and we feel better almost immediately. It’s a breath technique, an awareness builder, and a tool for gracefully allowing what’s happening to us then moving into a place of reflection or action.
We begin by first committing to not creating more pain and suffering for ourselves, deciding we’ll use tools and practices like B.O.A.R. to soothe our hurts and change our lives. Becoming braver is about awareness combined with action, and our responses can be gentle or fierce or a combination of something in-between. Conscious bravery arises from being open and adaptable, resetting in presence and finding resilience. Often. Over and over, and over again.
B.O.A.R is your ticket to the awareness, presence, resilience and bravery you want. Try it.
I know you’ll find relief from even just first step: breathing consciously. By going through all the steps in B.O.A.R., you’ll be able to reset and stay more present. You’ll grow in both gentleness and strength.
Practice the various tools I teach here for bravery training regularly, like B.O.A.R. You’ll go with the flow during challenges and be more daring at the same time.
Love and many mindful moments to you, my friend.